“When was the last time you went to church?”
This was a question I was being asked a little too frequently. Yes, I hadn’t been to church for a couple of years. And that sounds like a betrayal to the father who took me through catechism for my first holy communion. But this post isn’t about my relationship with Christ. Neither is it about last Sunday’s sermon that sounded just a little too relatable for my comfort. The choir sang about the prodigal son, and the priest preached about Nobel and how he turned his life around. This was my first time in this particular church, but it seemed like they had all ganged up to speak to me. And in a way, welcome me back to church. But again, as much as I want to talk about that. This is not what this post is about.
So, fast forward to almost the end of the mass. During the announcements, the congregation was invited to an event by the priest serving mass. It was a celebration of his Parents. And their many years of marriage. And when I say many years. I mean many years. The mum is 97 years old and the dad is 102 years old. They had been together since the mum was 20 years old. I don’t have to do the math for you. That’s a long time. And it got me thinking.
I am not yet 30, but I can see it just around the corner. Thirty sounds old, it has always sounded old to me. Until last Sunday. My twenties have been fun. I have always tried to be careful so that 30 doesn’t catch me by surprise. Yet the closer I get, the more I feel like there is quite a lot I am yet to figure out. I have been getting this feeling like the clock is ticking louder and louder. Until last Sunday.
Now, I will be honest. I am not sure if the dream is to live to 100 years. But last Sunday made it look like a possibility. So, I did the math. That’s almost another 70 years to live. That is more than double the life I have lived. And that in itself is scary. Ironically, before, I was kind of scared that time was running out. And now here I was, more worried about the amount of time I might have left.
Growing up, depending on the stage you are at, can be scary. The responsibilities seem to keep coming. The future seems to be coming at us fast. Ready to teach us a new lesson every day. The world, full of advice. Telling us to do this and that, for us to have a better future. Countless books are written on how to live a fulfilled life. How to prepare for the future, how to tackle the world. How to get rich, how to be happy. Some seem to contradict each other. Sometimes the more we read, the less we seem to know.
What will my next 70 years look like? I feel like I have lived for a long time already. I already feel old. But depending on who you ask, I am still very young. The world tells me that what I do today determines my future. I should prepare now. Then the same world reminds me to be patient. That success takes time.
Someone once told me that adults are just kids in big bodies forced to grow up by the world and responsibilities. And come to think of it, for the friends that I have grown up with. We still talk the same way, still treat each other the same way. We can be childish, we can be honest about not having figured shit out. We can talk about all the messes in our lives. Sometimes even laugh about it.
However, to someone looking at us from outside the circle. We seem to have figured everything out. They come for advice, they look up to us. Yes, we do have things we can say to them as advice. But these are things the world has taught us with time. We are still learning and figuring some stuff out as we go along the way. They, too, will learn some stuff by themselves. They, too, will have to make some mistakes.
With all that having been said. As scary as it might feel, growing up isn’t as bad. If we embrace the journey and all its adventures. Some might be good, some bad. But all I have come to learn, have a role to play in shaping our present and future lives. The most important thing for me has always been to enjoy the ride above everything else. Life to me has always been a blank canvas. If we spend too much time trying to predict it, we forget to live in the moment. We forget that today at some point was tomorrow or a day somewhere in the future. That at some point in life, where we are today, was an imagination. Something we used to look forward to. So, stop chasing the future too hard, stop worrying too much, and start enjoying the moment.
One Response
Interesting