Vanilla

My favorite flavor of yogurt is Vanilla. But I like my life a little more flavored. Many times when I have those deep long conversations with myself. I often ask myself. What is my purpose on this earth? What is it that I was brought into this earth for? If you believe in such that is.

Growing up, we often heard people say things like,

“You will become a great lawyer”

“You will make a great husband”

“You will grow to be an amazing mom”

People often have a way of seeing things in us that sometimes we do not see. Are these the things we are meant to become? No one can confirm with 100 percent surety. I believe life eventually leads us to where we are meant to go. That is if we let it. And if you believe in such things as fate and destiny. You will eventually find yourself where you were meant to be.

I am often much more interested in what happens in between. I am much more interested in the journey. In our earlier days of life, we are introduced to some sort of a schedule. Something close to a calendar to life. We are born, we suckle on our mother’s teats, and then we are old enough to go to school. We endure the early mornings and sometimes the late nights on homework. All in the promise of a better future. A less stressful future. Spoiler alert, absolute scam! We are promised that all this hard work will eventually pay off. We are pledged to a well-paying job, a good house, a good car, and the icing on top, a good stable home.

So, we try our best, work our asses off at school as we await the happiness promised in the next destination. And it Is always one promise after the other. Things always seem to get better in the next destination. We are promised freedom once we grow up. But no one ever seems to mention the cost associated with it.

When we are done with school, we crave a source of income. A well-paying job, that at the moment seems like the last piece of the puzzle. Then we get that 9 to 5. And God forbid, it becomes a source of stress. That income that we were so happy to get is suddenly never enough. The early mornings and the late nights we thought were well behind us. Like an Ex who knows not when to move on, suddenly comes back to haunt us.

Then we have no option but to conform, and fit ourselves into the general calendar of life. We wake up and drag ourselves to work. Somehow make it through the day. Go home, lie on the couch, hate our jobs. God forbid we even hate our lives. But what option do we have? We have to keep going. Sometimes like zombies. Chasing our next meal.

I have discovered that such is a constant in life. The troubles and all. So how do I cope with all this? I find my happiness. As they say, the problems will always come by themselves. It’s the happiness we have to chase. I find all the spice I can get to make all the not-so-good things bearable. How much spice? That is totally up to you. You also get to decide what spice works for you.

“What spices work for you?” You might be asking.

Well, it depends on what I am craving. If you develop a good relationship with your body. You learn to listen to it. And if you listen well enough and you are true to yourself you will almost always know what your body needs. Now, it is important to be honest and true to yourself and most importantly just a little bit selfish. Remember, we are not living this life for anyone else. Yes, we may have a sense of responsibility towards family and friends. But we come first. We must take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of others.
So, there are days I feel like ‘responsibly’ drinking myself silly (if that is even possible) not so much nowadays. But there were days when I did. There are days I want to get out of the house and just go scream somewhere, laugh, and interact. There are days I just want to laze around and Netflix and chill. Then there are days I just want to go crazy on somebody’s daughter. Or even enjoy a conversation with friends.

There are days I just want to be stupid and careless. There are the childish days. Where you tell yourself that you are better than this and you are a grown-ass man. But at that particular time, your inner child is having the time of their life. So, you ride the wave.

I have found it important for your sanity to have something else going away from your 9 to 5 or school. Think about it for a minute. What would be your response to the below question?

“When you are not working what do you do?

If the answer is nothing. Maybe there is a reason that 9-5 stresses you too much. Or maybe why you find it so hard to make personal connections. You might be a Vanilla kind of person but correct me if am wrong, vanilla in a way is a flavor. It has its own taste to it. But again, it is all up to you, and what works for me is not what works for you.

I believe there is something that unites us as human beings. That in all our uniqueness, there is something common in all of us. For the longest time, I have believed that to be the need to socialize with our peers. This I believe to be the most basic spice to life. There is something beautiful and amazing in each one of us. This can be the light during someone else’s dark hour in life. So, shine your light, you never know who else needs it. If not for anyone else, then do it for you. Find your spice, add it to your menu, and enjoy life, you were born to fly.