I fear Men

Of late I have found myself in more conversations than I find comfortable where women are talking of how much they fear men. Or even worse, conversations where women have called me a dog indirectly by saying men are dogs. To my surprise, most of them don’t even catch the offense on my face until I am like.

“You want to say you are currently trying to have a sobber conversation with a dog? Coz last time I checked, which was a few minutes ago in the bathroom I am pretty much still a man”.

Even after this, they most probably still shrug me off like this is supposed to mean nothing. They will go ahead and tell me how much men will betray you. And some of whom we have been friends for a long time and have shared memories leaving alone their secrets.

Now, I feel like as a society we have spent the last couple of decades understanding women. Men, whether we like it or not, and I am not saying we shouldn’t, have been taught to treat women like royals. Ever since we were small boys, we have been taught that girls are untouchable. To some extent depending on how you see it, we have almost been taught to worship them. That is why when I was in high school, the first time I was seen with a girl during a science congress event, it was the talk of town. We have been wired to be the hunters, not that we are complaining. So, our whole lives, we’ve studied women. What they like, what they don’t, what they find funny, and what angers them.

But no matter how much we study, somehow the less we seem to know. Yet ironically the world still seems to have a woman’s back. The world tells us that when she says yes, she means no. That her no sometimes means yes. Think that’s confusing enough? What about the fact that, believe it or not, sometimes her no means no? And trust me she is most annoyed when you don’t get that last part. So, we dive deeper into our studies, just like the early bird, the man who is closest to figuring all this stuff up, gets the worm.

So, no matter how complicated women are. We listen, even when we don’t understand a word being said. We apologize even when we have no idea what the hell we did. And apologize even more when we are the ones in the wrong. Trust me, that last one will give you hell on earth.

Women will tell you how every woman is different. How every one of them likes and wants different things, or to be treated differently. How what worked for your last girlfriend will not automatically work for her. But when it comes to men? We are all the same.

So here comes my argument. Isn’t it about time that the world started to learn about men? Something different from what the world thinks it knows. Let’s forget for a minute that men are supposed to be strong. Ask him for a change in how he is doing when he is going through a difficult time, maybe he needs it. Treat him a little nicer maybe, and be soft and caring. Maybe be a little less critical about his mistakes. I know you most probably think he can take it, by why not try being a little different?

Let us teach the world that men have feelings and emotions too. That he wants to express himself and sometimes depending on the issue at hand his minds get emotional. This shouldn’t make him any less of a man. Let us teach the world that men are not perfect and that men make mistakes too. I am pretty sure I won’t be teaching you something new if I said.

“Man is to error”

So why do we become dogs the minute we make a mistake? In a world full of so many activities, and we all know who the better multitaskers are. Why are we expected to be perfect and have our shit together? Yes, men make some foolish mistakes and yes, we have some foolish excuses for these mistakes. But as manly as this sounds, would a foolish mistake have a sensible excuse?

Before you start throwing stones, my whole point is. Before you put all of us in one basket, why not take your time to understand every one of us individually? I don’t mean every man out there of course but, judge us individually and before even judging. Why not ask questions, with an open mind of course, and no judgments? We have most probably had situations like these…

“Let me ask you a question…. wait don’t even answer I already know what you will say”.

Men are seen as villains, not to start a battle of the sexes, but in a world led by a majority that is men. How then does the world work for women? If they already feel like men are out to get them? Or disappoint and hurt them. We all know in a short list of at most 5 weaknesses of men, we can bet a woman will be on the list, and don’t get me started on the probability of just how high she might rank.

Men work their asses off to get their dream woman and even harder to maintain them. I believe a man to be a very intelligent being, with faults and weaknesses of course. For those who choose to believe, even in the creation story, God knew man needed a woman. And it was the woman that influenced the man, this influence I can even call power. Same thing now, a clever woman knows how to influence her man, in the right direction of course. She knows how to reason with him, and she will know how to keep him as well.

So, my humble request is, why not turn the fear into a fascination? Let’s seek to understand rather than to judge. To ask questions rather than conclude for ourselves. To critically analyze rather than jump to conclusions. Trust me, we need you as much as you need us.