You better not die

They say when a man walks out of the house, he has everything he needs to travel the world. He walks out prepared. Ready for anything. Even when his buddy calls him out for a quick hello, he knows better than to leave the gas on. Who knows where the night leads? It doesn’t matter if it’s noon. You just never know. Sometimes things just happen.
John said we were just catching a quick beer as we talked about an idea, he wanted to share with me at the local pub. Now we are at this fancy club surrounded by ladies in blood-red lipstick, skimpy dresses, and uncomfortably high, high heels. And don’t even get me started on their make-up. When all I did was add a pair of crocks to my stay-at-home sweatpants. No wonder we don’t have any ladies at our table. I look too broke, too young for my age. I look like someone undergoing a midlife crisis.

To make things worse I look a bit too old to be dressed that way in public leave alone in a fancy club like this. But again, I am not here to get someone for me. Those days are way behind me. I had my time and let us just say I made it count. I have someone waiting at home. I told her I was just stepping out for a minute, and that I wasn’t going too far away…
Now John is on his phone, with his third girlfriend this month. I guess this is what happens when a married man hangs out with his single buddies. As much as those days are way behind me, am still not a vibe killer. So, when John explains why he invites the girlfriend, his explanation makes no sense. But still, I node. I thought he had this business idea, unfortunately, I am still waiting to hear it. With the amount of shots, we have taken already, and the bear bottles on our table, I doubt it will make any sense even if he decides to share it. So, I say, Yollo! As we cheer to our 4th Tequila shot of the night.
My phone rings, there is a love emoji at the end of the caller’s name. So, I don’t have to explain who it is that is calling. It’s as if the DJ was expecting my call a few minutes earlier coz suddenly the music sounds louder than it was a few minutes ago. I walk what feels like a few kilometers before I find a place quiet enough. What kind of music systems do they install in these clubs?
“Hello Babe”
“Hello, where are you? You said you wouldn’t be long”.
“I am at John’s there is something he wanted me to help out with” I respond.
“How long will it take?”
“I will be there in no time; it shouldn’t take long” I respond.
At the back of my mind, I am thinking. There is a tone of alcohol at the table. Alcohol that I will most definitely pay for whether I leave now or not. And I have not even mentioned that the tipsiness is convincing me to stay a while. And if you have been in my shoes before, we all know how that ends.
As I walk back to the table, I spot this extra person on our table. She wears a short red dress with braids running way below her chest area. Her eyes are wide with black mascara. Her red lipstick too perfect, begging to be licked off. John has a type.
“Hey, the party boy is back!” John shouts as I walk back to the table. And I am thinking. Party boy? Shouldn’t even be here in the first place. But as I said I am not a party popper. So I smile instead as he introduces me to the lady.
“This is Sheila, the only star in my night sky. The weakness in my knees and the oxygen in my lungs” John says. The Tequilla is working.
“Nice to meet you, I have heard so much about you”
I respond but, in my mind, I am like. Welcome to the community! I haven’t heard a single thing about you but since it’s in the bro code. I will just go ahead and just tell you exactly what you want to hear.
“This place is dead; I know a good place that is buzzing right now. My friends are over there, we could join them” Sheila says.
I watch the smile on John’s face grow bigger. And I don’t even have to ask I know right away he is for the Idea.
“I am not so sure I will Join you guys, I respond.”
“What do you mean Bro, live a little my brother. When was the last time we spent some time together? You are coming, we won’t take too long, I have someplace to be tomorrow”.
In my mind, I am sure how this all ends but for some stupid reason, I hesitate.
“Come on bro, drinks are on me!” John says.
Now we are in John’s car, and his level of intoxication is more than I am comfortable with. Newly adopted Miss Sheila was in the passenger seat next to him. The car is a little dark, but I can bet on my life that Sheila’s right hand is not helping change gears, but it is holding on to something similar to the gear handle. And at this moment, all I can think of is “You better not die” coz, how do I explain all this? I am at John’s place which is not so far away from my house. I was supposed to be home hours ago. But here I am, intoxicated, driven by an even more intoxicated driver, and let’s not talk about the distraction seated right next to him and what she is holding. So, I take a huge gulp of air into my lungs and say Yollo. But deep down I keep telling myself. You better not die.