Hello ladies, today I want to speak to you. Man to woman. And since I believe we are living in times where we no longer waste time. A time when we no longer bit around the bush. I will go straight to the point.
For a long period, I have been something close to a typical African man. I am not sure what this might mean to you so I will explain what I mean. My idea of the roles of a woman and that of a man has been based on what I saw growing up. I didn’t grow up with a dad or a man in the house I was living in. So much of what I learned was what society told me growing up. A little of what I may have observed when I was lucky to get into households where there was a ‘complete’ family setup.
So in short I had loads of different circumstances to observe and learn from. There was a lot of noise in my ears on what a man ought to be like and how he relates to a woman. But this was until I was old and confident enough to relate to women on my own. And I have had a good share of these interactions, however, you want to interpret this.
What have I learned and what is my message to ladies today?
First of all, I will say that I have no issue with the independent lady…what do I call it? I was to say Mentality but that just sounds wrong. I have heard it said that what a man can do, a woman can do.
I believe no scratch that, I know that it gives men a lot of joy and builds up their ego, or is it a sense of importance? When they offer assistance to women. We feel relevant, needed and wanted. Men were naturally born to be providers, nothings breaks a man faster than when he has a responsibility towards his family and cannot provide for them.
We know that given the chance, with no alternative solution, women can fix bulbs almost as well as men can. But, when he is available you would rather have him do it. Not because he has an electrical engineering degree, but because this way he feels relevant and needed. He has a part to play. He is relevant to you, he sees where he fits in.
I believe relationships work better when we are not in constant competition with one another. I believe the world was designed in such a way that we all have a part to play where there is a union between man and woman. Ladies, I want to say real men, but I hate this way of classifying men. So I will say, a man will want to play a part in your life. He will want to help, this should come naturally to him. So let him help. We know that if you took a stool and stepped on it, you would probably reach that top shelf better than he would. But as long as he is around, please pretend like you have never stepped on a stool a day in your life. Ask him to help out.
Most probably before you met him, you have fixed that gas regulator a hundred times. But he is here now, trust me he would love to help. You just bought that piece of equipment that needs the different parts connected. I know that it comes with a manual, and you most probably would do it. But why not let him do it instead? Or even let him guide you through as you do it together?
If this doesn’t make sense to you. Think of this, a man who knows how to keep the house organized and always does it before you can say anything about it. He is always taking charge in the kitchen; he will cook you any type of meal you can think of and does it almost every single day. He always has his closet figured out. Knows what to wear and when to wear it. He matches his clothes perfectly and always knows where his socks are. I hope I am painting a picture. Now, what is your role in such a union, do you feel needed or relevant?
Not sure what your answer is as a lady but as a man. I hope I speak for other men when I say we want to be relevant. We want a role to play. It’s a plus if we feel needed. We don’t want just to be there. And don’t get me wrong, we appreciate and love a woman who has her shit figured out. It makes it even easier for us to collaborate. But we appreciate even more a lady who has her things figured out, one who would most probably get her things done by herself but still chooses to involve us. So, ladies, as much as it gives you joy, security, and confidence to handle your stuff. We appreciate a woman who knows they can most probably get things done on their own but still chooses to involve us. Men stick to where they feel wanted and needed. So, ladies, even in the spirit of girl power. Allow him to come in, show him how he fits into your life, and he will most probably stick.
