So, what happens when someone tells you they miss you? I will give you a minute to think about it. Do take your time and think about it…And now that you have, I will try and read your mind for a second. So here are the chances. One, you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, it gives you a good feeling. Two, you might feel invaded and somehow uncomfortable. Or three, you might feel a sudden urge to say “I miss you too”.
The above scenarios will depend on how you feel toward the person in question. Have you ever found yourself in an awkward situation where someone tells you that they miss you and to be honest you know the feeling isn’t mutual? But you still go ahead and tell them you miss them too. Maybe even worse, been in a situation where someone said the L-word and it left you confused inside, asking yourself whether you want to be blamed for breaking their feelings. So again, you go ahead and force what feels like the heaviest word you have ever uttered. “l-l-l-o-o-o-v-e you too” The word barely comes out of you, and you intentionally skip the ‘’I’’. Just in case you find yourself in court later, somehow your lawyer will find a way to twist your words in the absence of the first-person singular pronoun “I”. Already sounds like something a lawyer would say, doesn’t it?
My question is, why do we get ourselves in such situations when we know very well most times it doesn’t always end well? I believe most of the time the person on the other side is somehow either aware the feeling isn’t mutual before we even say it or at the very moment, we say it. They are either comfortable making us say it so that they can hold us hostage or are just outright blind to the situation. I believe most times they just hope or lie to themselves or yourself if in this case, you are the person on the other side, that if you say it enough times it will turn out to be true.
Thinking of even simpler situations, situations where you are meant to say no but you feel compelled to say yes. For example, an invitation to a party that you really don’t feel like going to, but since it is your friend asking and do not want to let them down. You just say yes and force yourself to show up. Sometimes this may end up either being the worst experience ever or the best.
It is said that one of the most powerful things you can teach yourself is to say no. I have personally found myself in trouble in the past trying to juggle between things that I would have avoided by simply saying no. I believe the ability to say exactly what you mean shouldn’t be taken as rude. I have also always been a strong believer that the world needs a little bit more honesty. I appreciate people who are straightforward and direct with their approach. People who are not afraid to speak their minds. There are ways to be honest without sounding offensive. But again, I would rather you are honest now and I take offense and we get an understanding of our relationship and how it is we see one another. Rather than lie and pretend and build a fake connection or friendship when deep down there are things, we do not see eye to eye on that may impact how we relate in the future. As the wise men would have it Mapema ndo best!
Have you ever looked at someone (not to judge, though that is what they all say before they judge you) and thought to yourself?
“Do they really have friends”
Mostly maybe because of the way they are dressed and maybe they have a plied too much make-up. Or maybe it is their choice of haircut. And you are like if they really had friends, they would have told them. This is what happens when we are not honest with one another. I believe honesty doesn’t just come to break someone. It can be a wake-up call to help someone become a better version of themselves. Again, it can save us some awkward moments or drama in the future. What do you think, does the world need a little more honesty?
Yes, the truth can be bitter sometimes or even most times. But I believe it is always a better option than trying not to hurt someone’s feelings. Furthermore, it’s only a matter of time before you cannot pretend anymore, and trust me, it will be much worse then.
